Whoa. Hold on now. I'm not getting all fired up just yet. This is a test to see whether this !@#$% thing will work as advertised.

Sometimes I wish I knew how to contact that Judge Judy.

Well look at that it does work. You know, I think maybe, I mean now that we've known each other for two posts or so and things are going really swell, I think maybe I should tell you all a little bit more about me. I majored in advertising, which means I made a lot of pie charts promising big revenues if people used our advertisments. My pie charts were the best. They had a variety of colors (although only one shape) and people use to stare at them during a sales pitch. They'd raise their hands and say things like, "Can you read what's there in the blue piece... I didn't bring my binoculars." That might sound like ridicule to those of you out there who think you !@#$% know everything already and are just reading this Blog because you know I'm totally !@#$% crazy, but you're wrong. In the advertising industry everybody makes fun of everything. It's like a standard and stuff. !#$%@ dude, read the !@#$% textbooks if you don't believe me. Today's consumer is hip to a lot of stuff. They've seen it all before, if you know what I mean. So you have to let them know that you're also in the know. One does this with satire. Take Mountain Dew commericals, since that's a pretty straightforward example. In a lot of these commercials people do what's called "extreme sports." Crazy skateboard !@#$ and motorbikes that flip upside down, people skating off things. We all know that. But what makes these commercials so funny to us consumers who are in the know? It's that people who Do the Dew get seriously hurt sometimes. !@#$ dude, just the other day I saw this one Dew commercial where a kid gets hit by a car and breaks the windshield. People get hurt ! That's what I'm talking about. Satire. Today's consumer is hip to a lot of things.

Welcome to MY @#$@! HAPPY PLACE! I'm trying, okay. Not every Blog can be so @#$%! precious, so relax, shutup, and let me get the red out.

First, what kind of sick !@#$% tries to download a graphics application over a 28.8k modem connection? Someone pushed into a corner. Someone with a new Blog and pretty pictures dancing in his head and no where else to turn but an old modem pulsing out over cornfield after cornfield. If I screamed only the cows would hear me. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a desperate and sad and lonely place to be, and so I'm glad to be back in my happy place. Think !@#$% happy thoughts. Think !@#%$ happy thoughts.